Only 2 weeks before the car accident happened, and my extended health insurance benefits had kicked in, I had been searching to find a healer who knew what “unwinding” was. The weird thing I had experienced when I was getting Myofascia work by the massage therapist Emilio while I lived there. I came across many website of healers, but many were not appealing to me. Until I came across one woman’s named Dot’s website. She had an awful lot of training in various modalities and I gave her a call. We spoke and I told her about my situation and what had happened and what I was trying to do.
“You don’t need me.” she said. ” You need Rae.”
“Rae. Just trust me.”
“Ok. I guess.”
Dot gave me Rae’s phone number and I called her. I cant’ remember the specifics but we arranged to meet and I went to Rae’s home in Rosedale. I think I remember when she opened the door she came outside and I think I was scared by her for some reason. I thought she had given me a mean look. I would figure what actually was happening a long long time later. We spoke at length. I remember telling her,
“I don’t think I have good intuition.”
She smiled. ” Yes, you do.”
“Noo, I don’t think I do.”
“I don’t think I do. How could i? Why I did I get in a bad car accident. I want this pain out of my body. I’m a really healthy athletic person. I work out every day. Why did I move to BC only to move to Toronto. Why…”
“Trust me you have good intuition.”
“How can you say that? You don’t even know me.”
“I know because your here.”
I remember thinking what does that have to do with the price of rice in china?
“I’m going to help you child. Listen, I’m going to send you to an amazing naturopath Diane and whatever you need you come to me and I’ll point you in the right direction or get you in touch with the right person. I’m not going to treat you. You will be like my little adoptive daughter.”
I was confused. All right. OK.”
After this session happened. Only two week passed. Then I was in the christmas car accident. I could not believe it. I called her from my hospital bed.
“Rae? It’s Kate. I’ve been in a car accident. A bad one. I’m in the hospital.”
A little silence.
“Ohh Kate. Dear Kate.”
I could feel her smiling over the phone. Why is she smiling at time like this?”
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. This was meant to happen.”
“What? What are you talking about? Are you kidding me right now”
“No. I know this may seem like, it but trust me.”
Ohh boy. I remember thinking this woman was out to lunch right then and there. How on God’s green earth, could this possibly be a good thing? A car accident. ANOTHER car accident?
“I don’t understand. How is this is a good thing?”
“You will see. It’s going to be ok.”
And that was it.
“My body is shivering and jolting all over the bed. I feel like my liver is trying to jump out of me. It’s thudding.”
“It’s ok Kate. Your body is just responding to the trauma.”
We hung up the phone. I remember not feeling solace in her words, but sheer frustration. HOW COULD ANY OF THIS POSSIBLY BE A GOOD THING?
I can’t say for sure, but I think I had thoughts of maybe I didn’t find the right person to work with. I was probably reluctant to call her again, but a part of me also trusted her. I was so tired of the state I was in and so determined to figure out what was going on, she is all I had to trust. She listened to me and didn’t judge me.
When I returned home to Toronto not that much time passed before I had one of the most interesting, scary and mind blowing nights of my life.
Sometimes the things we doubt are the things we need to be open to believe. Most of the time we need to figure this out on our own. All of the time we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for having not believed in the first place.
• Mood: Tired and wired to get this out on my birthday
• Locale: Still at the 24hr Starbucks, Young & King St.
• Music: Good Day Sunshine by The Beatles